I couldn’t resist posting these funny quips from an anonymous house wife here in Houston. Even for those across the country dealing with the damage Ike inflicted in Eastern states and of course, those in the Gulf Coast states that suffer hurricane regularly, this are priceless! Enjoy!
Things Ike taught me
Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
Hot pockets taste pretty good deep fried on the outdoor cooker!
My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).
He who has the biggest generator wins.
A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.
There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser’s to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
There are a lot of dang trees around here.
Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong..
People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.
If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators… I’d be rich.
Waterfront property can quickly become someone else’s fishing hole.
Tree service companies are underappreciated.
I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
A skateboard and a sheet make a great “sailboat” before the rain starts.
You can never have too many gas cans!
If you fill the bathtubs with water, the water will not go off.
Neighbors are much more sociable when they are sharing a generator.
Two-year-old canned beets taste better than you’d think.
Just because it is dark and you are in the privacy of your bedroom doesn’t mean we can’t hear what you are doing in there because our windows are open too.
What looks acceptable by candlelight in your bathroom will scare you when you look at yourself in the mirror at the office.
Coffee is possible without Starbucks.
Rather than campfires, you find families huddled about tiny battery-operated televisions to watch The Simpsons.
Peanut butter and jelly is a perfectly acceptable meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner in the same day.
That neighbor who knows how to use a chainsaw is your new best friend.
You run out of things to barbecue after Day 2.
Hair can dry without a blow dryer, but it may not look the way you planned.
The storm treasures your kids are finding really belong to your neighbors.
Baseball caps go with any post-hurricane ensemble.
Grapes taste better in the dark.
You can’t train yourself not to flip on light switches when entering a room.
Lukewarm is the new cold.
You have neighbors.
A new opening phrase when seeing someone: “Got lights yet?”